Saved by Don Quixote

http://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/819984

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by Bill Alexander

I grew up in southern New Jersey, the fourth child of six. My parents were Protestants. I was baptized in the Methodist church at the age of thirteen and had very little religious training. We were a dysfunctional family because my father was an alcoholic. I reacted to his drinking in numerous ways. I became aware of the way we lived—not having the proper necessities. In other words, I had long hair and holes in the knees of my pants, long before they were fashionable. I always felt that we were from “the other side of the tracks.” I related socially by becoming shy, backward, and insecure.

Our way of life also affected me in the way that I related to God. I knew there was a God out there somewhere, but I didn’t know him. I missed a great deal of school in my early years, was labeled a slow learner and pushed from grade to grade. When I left school, I was barely able to read or write. Many years later, I found that I had a learning disability: dyslexia.

New Jersey is the second most populated Catholic state, and many of my friends were Catholic. One of my best friends was the president of the Catholic Youth Organization (CYO). I played CYO sports and attended CYO dances. I even attended a few Confraternity of Christian Doctrine (CCD} classes. I didn’t learn very much. I only went because that’s where all the pretty girls were. The priest was the youth director, and he befriended me. He was always encouraging and seemed concerned and interested. He didn’t preach to me about becoming Catholic; he was just a witness to me.

I first met Deana at a CYO dance several years before we began to date. She invited me to attend Mass with her. Every time I went to Mass with her, I experienced this special presence of God, which I would come to understand several years later.

As we continued our relationship, Deana had the good sense to pray about God’s will in her life. I had never met a girl like that. I was impressed with her witness. We dated for almost a year and married on May 19, 1962. I continued to go to Mass with her. Three years later, I became a Catholic. I was really enthusiastic—I was going to be the best Catholic that I could be.

After a few years, I became a Catholic in name only. I had a lot of misconceptions about God. I could not conceive that the God of the whole universe loved me, nor did I know that he wanted a personal relationship with me. I was told that he loved me, but I never experienced that love. After ten years, our marriage became a rocky road. By now we had five children and I was working two jobs to make ends meet. I complained a lot, was irritated and frustrated.

In February 1972, my job with American Airlines in Philadelphia became shaky. I feared I would be laid off. In March we came to Dallas to look around. We knew about the new airport, which would give me job security. We liked what we saw and put in for a transfer.

At that same time, in February 1972, we signed up for a Marriage Encounter retreat weekend, which we made in April of that year. God was truly present to us. He touched me on that weekend in a profound way. I experienced his love for the very first time. It was so profound that I could give you the exact date, time, and place.

Here’s what happened: After the first session on Friday evening, Father Murray told us that he would be available for Confession until midnight. Deana and I decided to go to Confession as a couple. It was the first time that we had gone to Confession with a priest, face-to-face. After this experience, the Lord greatly blessed us.

The retreat just got better from there. Saturday morning, the first session was “Encounter with Self.” After the presentation, the retreat team played music from the Broadway show, Man of La Mancha. For me, it was like a personal parable of God’s love. Through it, I saw myself as a miserable sinner.

In this beautiful story, Don Quixote befriends a woman known as Aldonza, who was filled with shame because of her past life. She seethed with self-hatred and remorse. She cries out,

“God, won’t you look at me! . . . Born on a dung heap to die on a dung heap, a strumpet men use and forget!”

Then Don Quixote befriends her, bringing life, hope, purpose, and self-respect. He calls her his sweet lady. He gives her the endearing name Dulcinea. I saw in this the life-giving power of Jesus, restoring my worth, respect, and dignity and giving me newness of life.

The whole scene ends with the beautiful words,

To dream the impossible dream,
To fight the unbeatable foe . . .
To right the unrightable wrong . . .

After this experience, Jesus had me! I was his. He just engulfed me with his unconditional love and mercy. After that, I was hugging everyone in sight.

We were asked to be involved with Marriage Encounter and became a presenting couple. The job transfer came through and, when we moved to Dallas, we were a part of the first Marriage Encounter in North Texas.

Bill Alexander came to Texas in 1972 to work for American Airlines. Now retired, Bill has a rich life with his wife Deana, seven children, eleven grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren. The couple was involved in Marriage Encounter and share their faith teaching and facilitating Life in the Spirit and formation seminars.