Our Journey to Know and Love Jesus Christ

John and Marjorie Callagher

By John Callagher

(Excerpt from my memoir for my children)

When Marjorie and I came to the USA on February 17, 1962, our son Anthony was only 2 1/2 years old. It was hard leaving our parents, but it was mostly my desire. If I had changed my mind at the last minute, your mother would have said, “That’s fine, let’s unpack,” and she would have been quite happy to stay at 41 Clock House Rd. Beckenham, Kent. We first moved to New Orleans, where my sister and AJ (her husband) lived. During the 5 1/2 years we lived there, Christine and Alicia were born.

My second reason to write is to let you know how we came to accept Jesus in our hearts, and how He became a big part of our lives. Jesus led us into his light, away from the darkness of sin, and we became a new creation as some say, “born again,” and we learned a new way of living our lives. Looking back to the beginning of our spiritual life, Our Lord chose to use sadness to get the attention of Marjorie and me. Our son Anthony was our first child, born November 30, 1959, and died on October 18, 1968, from Leukemia. He died in five days. The doctors told us that the autopsy indicated that he would have suffered much in a couple of weeks since his appendix was close to giving a lot of trouble. To add sadness to our broken hearts, it was my birthday when he died. Three days later began the change of our life together. I understand in many situations like ours, people will pull away from God, thinking HOW can God do this to us, etc.

The first sparrow

In our case, our son’s death brought us close to our Lord’s loving care, which I will explain. On the day of the funeral, I was combing Marjorie’s hair (as I’m a professional hairstylist). Suddenly, a sparrow chirping away perched on the birdhouse that Anthony had made at Cub Scouts just two months before. I thought of all times for the first bird to perch on Anthony’s birdhouse! I had explained to Anthony that maybe next Spring, birds might come and build a nest since we had very few birds at our house. It was built on a cotton field with few trees and few birds. In fact, we hadn’t noticed any.

At that moment, I thought, if I had a gun, I would shoot it. I turned back to Marjorie to continue to comb, and then suddenly, I literally had words in my head.

DO NOT BE SAD. YOUR SON IS HAPPY AND FINE WHERE HE IS.

Not having much, if any, spiritual knowledge, I thought, oh my gosh, but somehow, I knew it was from God. Then all of a sudden I felt like I wanted to skip around the room like a child. I did not tell Marjorie what was happening within me at that moment, but I had such joy and peace in my heart that was unexplainable, but I knew it was of God.

For the rest of the funeral, I was having a hard time keeping a smile off my face. We should be crying with heartache around the gravesite. We were encouraged to leave the graveside and walk to the car. As they were about to lower the casket, I noticed Marjorie’s face smiling, which was the same feeling I had. We were thanking family and friends for coming and consoling them, instead of them consoling us.

Two of Anthony’s Cub Scouts had tears running down the faces. I said, “Don’t be sad, Anthony is happy in heaven, and we have to work hard to get there also.” These words I had shared with the Cub Scouts who came visiting with a Priest two nights before. He said to tell your children that heaven’s just like a big party.

Holding Jesus’ hand

That morning I put Christine on my lap and told her that Anthony was with Jesus but would not be coming home anymore, but we will see him one day when we go to see Jesus. With her eyes opened wide, she looked at her hands and said, “You mean Anthony can hold Jesus’ hand?” The look in her eyes I will never forget. With a lump in my throat, I said yes, sweetheart, he can.

The next morning at breakfast, another bird was chirping up a storm and I told our friend Mary Jane from New Orleans what happened before the funeral. Of course, Marjorie was hearing this story for the first time. Walking from the kitchen with a hot teapot, she had a pale look on her face. I said, “Sweetheart, you ok?”

“Yes, I’m fine, it’s just…. what you said about feeling strangely happy I felt the same at the funeral site.” I did notice Marjorie was thanking everyone for coming and realizing I was doing the same.

Sparrows on the fence

We had great comfort from our friends next door the Bove’s and their two daughters Karen and Amy, who were the same age as Christine and Alicia. All four girls were 2 1/2 and 5 years – a good age for each other and still close to this day.

For the next ten days, as I would leave for work every morning, we would sit with the girls by the sliding patio doors. The sparrows would entertain them while flying around the garden. One morning at least fifty sparrows were sitting on the fence, so I put bread and a cake out there for them. When I came home from work, the cake and bread were untouched, so I gathered it all up, knowing in my heart this would be a story I would be telling very often.

This was the beginning of our spiritual journey that led us into giving our hearts and lives to the Lord during a Life in the Spirit Seminar. The joy we received during Anthony’s death and funeral was the beginning of a life of spiritual joy centered in Christian community.

John Callagher and his late wife, Marjorie, immigrated to New Orleans, Louisiana,   from Kent, England, in 1962. After 5 years, they settled and raised their family in Dallas, Texas. John worked as a hairstylist for 63 years. His memoir tells his family the story of how the Lord brought them through the death of their son with great joy instead of sorrow and planted them fully into the Catholic Church and Christian Community life.