JOY Alive in Our Hearts

The joy of conversion, Christian community, and the Catholic faith

Testimony: Journey of a lifetime

by · July 6, 2023

Featured in Sharing Your Catholic Faith Story

By Elizabeth Reardon

My freshman year at Mount Holyoke College was an exciting time of rigorous study, new friendships, challenging adjustments, and unbelievable growth. Over twelve hundred miles away from home, I found myself seeking both comfort in the familiar but also joy in discovering who I was to become. Though I studied hard and partied equally so, I still made time to attend church either on campus or locally in town with a classmate. I noticed that something was missing, something I couldn’t define, but leaving me incomplete. Perhaps the experience of worship had changed or I had—or even a bit of both.

Then one Sunday, as the minister spoke meta­phorically of finding one’s center, I suddenly realized that something was missing. What I longed for was not a vague pulpit description of what God is, but a concrete awareness of who God is in my life. And while I knew my center was Christ, I no longer felt his presence as near and tangible. My soul yearned for so much more. Intense and undeniable, I truly felt God working within me over the course of the proceeding months, asking me to let go and let him lead.

It wasn’t until a late night out had caused me to miss the first half of the Protestant service that my desire to be with God and my searching all came together.

I could go back to my dorm room, I thought. But wait, a Catholic Mass was starting soon. Rather than arrive uncomfortably late, I could be on time. I knew so little of Catholic practices. Would my unfamiliarity be too easily distinguishable? What I heard in response within my heart was: “This is an opportunity to find what you have been searching for. God is here.”

I turned the handle on the door of the chapel and took my seat near the middle of the church. I knelt before God for the first time. In this silence before Mass began, I found such peace and comfort in my anonymity. Here in this sacred time and place, I whispered, “I am here too, Father.” Admittedly, as Mass began and I looked to my left and right for guidance, it was all too obvious that I was a newcomer. Just when I started questioning the reasoning that had brought me here, God reached out and drew me close. Those on either side stretched out their hands as the beautiful, familiar words of the Our Father echoed throughout the chapel space. I was home.

Soon after that, I was to discover the love of my life in a deep friendship that had begun earlier that fall with a Catholic sophomore at UMass Amherst. When I look back, it seems every detail of our meeting and courtship was just as it was intended to be. Neither of us was initially looking for a long-term relationship, but we each were honestly seeking someone who reflected the values we held dear. Reluctantly, he accepted that I was not ready to date but longed for his friendship. Through months of listening to one another tell of the faults of those we dated, and giving advice, we grew closer. John was waiting for me and loving me all the while. I couldn’t believe how blessed I was that God had planned it all! Though we frequently attended Mass together, for some time I still held back in telling him how God was moving me ever closer to conversion. With prayer and discernment so significant in my life, I was cautious and wanted to be certain that this was indeed where God was leading me to go.

When that moment arrived, there was no looking back, and I knew the time had come to speak to Fr. Infantini and my family about my decision to enter RCIA. With a knock on the door, and a commitment to pursue God’s calling, my searching heart was filled with a fullness of faith, joy, and love. And, to my surprise, my family not only respected my faith decision but prayed and supported me throughout it all. To this day, I still remember the phone call to my mother. After sharing the events that had brought me to this place, there was a long pause for what seemed like an eternity.

“It all makes sense now,” was her response.

“What makes sense?” I curiously asked.

“Before you were born, I had a dream that you would be a Catholic. Standing before a multitude of others gathered, you then spoke passionately of your love and faith in God. I know now that God was preparing me for this day.”

“Mom, why have you never told me this before?”

“Well, I didn’t want to persuade you, should that not be God’s will. I knew that, if it was, God would certainly lead you there.”

As I hung up the phone, I felt awe at God’s magnificence and confirmation that I was exactly where God wanted me to be. Instantly, I fell on my knees in prayer and gratitude. “God, you are so amazing! How you planned this day before I was ever born. If only I would listen, I would find happiness in you. Thank you, my Heavenly Father, for being patient and persistently calling me home. I am overwhelmed by your love!”

And yes, still today I remain overwhelmed—head over heels in love with God and the transformation within my soul. Twenty-three years have passed since this conversation, yet I thought of this moment again recently when I was asked to speak at St. Patrick’s in Wareham, Massachussetts. Through these years, I have been blessed with countless invitations to serve, witness, and grow in my faith. Now, as a Director of Parish Ministries, I have the additional blessed opportunity to lead others to discover their gifts and follow God’s lead. For me, it is the journey of a lifetime—one I joyously embrace and continuously seek each day.

Elizabeth Reardon is Director of Parish Ministries for St. Paul and Resurrection Parishes in Hingham, MA, and for many years was a radio host. Her blog is called  Theology Is a Verb.

 

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Nancy Ward

Nancy Ward writes about conversion, Christian community, and Catholicism. After earning a journalism degree, she worked for the Diocese of Dallas newspaper and the Archbishop Sheen Center for Evangelization, then began her own editing service. She’s a regular contributor to CatholicMom.com, SpiritualDirection.com, CatholicWritersGuild.com, NewEvangelizers.com and a contributing author to The Catholic Mom’s Prayer Companion. Now, through her Sharing Your Catholic Faith Story: Tools, Tips, and Testimonies workshops, retreats, book, and DVD, she shares her conversion story at Catholic parishes and conferences, equipping others to share their own stories.

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