Swept into the Heart of the Church

 

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By Melanie Jean Juneau

My parents raised me in a cool, calm, and conservative Presbyterian church where nobody talked about a personal relationship with Jesus, and no one talked about accepting Christ’s forgiveness, allowing Jesus to save us, or committing our lives to God. However, as a Protestant child who went to Sunday School from age three into my mid-teens, I grew up on the stories of Jesus, singing songs about his love, and memorizing Bible verses.

I was a prayerful kid; I sensed God was close to me even as a small child. One of my Sunday School teachers, who I realize now was close to God, always turned to me to interpret passages of Scripture in class, then beamed at my responses afterward. After I had committed my life to God at age sixteen, my mum recalled that this teacher repeatedly told her, “You know, Melanie is a child of God.”

Intimacy with God

Listening to an Evangelical friend in high school stirred a yearning in me for deeper intimacy with God, but I did not know how to go about it. When I was sixteen, teenagers were invited for the first time to the National Conference of Canadian Presbyterian ministers, missionaries, and elders. My frustrated desire to learn how to connect with God in a real way drove me to stand up in front of all those leaders in our church and challenge them: “After eleven years of faithful Sunday School attendance, why did no one tell me it was even possible to have a personal relationship with Jesus? Do I have to go to the Jesus People or the Pentecostals to learn how to be filled with the Holy Spirit?”

Of course, everyone clapped as I sat down with my heart pounding. A lovely missionary, with her silver hair swept up in an elegant bun and her eyes twinkling with the love of God, asked me,

“Have you accepted Jesus as your Savior?”

I was baffled, “I am not sure; I don’t think so.”

She looked at me, really looked into my eyes, “I am sure you already have, because just now you spoke in the Spirit, with his power and clarity. Just to make sure, when you are in your room tonight, ask Jesus to forgive your sins and accept the salvation he offers you. Then commit your life to Christ. Tomorrow we will pray together for the infilling of his Holy Spirit.”

That night, I felt foolish, like I was speaking to thin air, but I said the words, committing my life to Christ. I was immediately filled with joy, experiencing a tangible sense of love for the first time. It felt like a warm blanket was enveloping me.

Monday at school, all the Evangelicals and Jesus people gathered around, hugging me. “Your face is shining! You did it—you accepted Christ, didn’t you?”

Of course, these kids talked me into attending their weekly Friday night Jesus Party. My sister and I nervously took the bus from my perfectly groomed suburb to a church in the center of town. I was terrified as I walked down the stairs into a huge basement hall with hundreds of young people dancing, shaking tambourines, and singing in tongues. Thankfully, my desire for more of God was stronger than my fear.

Later, as I stood in a baptismal pool up to my waist, I was still so uptight I only managed to squeak out a few words in tongues as the pastor laid hands on me, praying for the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. It was not until later that night, in the solitude of my room, that the gift of tongues was released, filling me once again with a sense of freedom and joy for my growing life in God.

For the next year, I was in the midst of the “honeymoon stage” with God which lead me once again out of my comfort zone and into a church I would never have chosen on my own.

This IS the Body of Christ

The next year I moved to another city to attend university. I was shocked to discover that the only place alive in the Spirit was a Catholic charismatic prayer group. I was confused—how could Catholics be filled with the Holy Spirit? I assumed God merely tolerated these Catholics’ heretical faith. I was sure God would soon show them the truth, that they only needed faith in Jesus and the Bible. Period.

By mid-semester, I decided to accompany fellow students from the prayer meeting to a University Mass. I was so shocked and overwhelmed by the powerful presence of God in that small University Chapel, I could barely follow the rest of the young people as they stood, kneeled, and sat. When I heard the priest say, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world” and “Happy are those who are called to his supper,” I suddenly wanted—no I craved—the Eucharist. Of course, my Catholic friends told me I could not receive Holy Communion that evening but suggested I make an appointment with one of the Jesuits the next day.

The next day, the Jesuit chaplain asked me, “Why do you want to become a Catholic?”

My answer was simple: “Well, if the Eucharist really is the Body of Christ, I want to receive it. Is that selfish?”

The priest beamed at me.

It was embarrassing but every time I attended Mass while I was going through instruction to become Catholic, tears streamed down my face because I could not receive the Eucharist yet. The tears were not the result of anything I could verbalize but were rooted in an inexpressible longing placed deep in my spirit by God.

Caught by Mary

A couple of months later, I was living with a Catholic charismatic family. I could not sleep for a few nights. After I stumbled out of my bedroom one night, desperate for relief, they prayed with me and discerned that the reason I could not sleep was that God had been shining his light into my heart, preparing a room for Mary. Would I invite Mary into my heart?

Sitting right there, exhausted from lack of sleep, and despite all the Protestant theological objections in my head, I surrendered to God’s inner promptings and said yes to Mary. Joy and peace flooded my soul instantly.

Well, when Mary lives in your heart and God places a hunger for the Eucharist in your heart, nobody wants you but the Catholic Church. Within six months, I joined the Church, much to my family’s despair, receiving three Sacraments in two days. My grandfather lamented over my conversion: “My God, how did she get herself into that mess?”

Caught and Taught

Pope Francis explains that a relationship with Christ is not just for Protestant Evangelicals but for Catholics, who are then safeguarded by the Roman Catholic Church. An authentic Christian cannot be a “free agent”:

On the contrary, you cannot love God without loving your brothers, you cannot love God outside of the Church; you cannot be in communion with God without being so in the Church, and we cannot be good Christians if we are not together with those who seek to follow the Lord Jesus, as one single people, one single body, and this is the Church. (Pope Francis, General Audience, June 25, 2014)

I was converted through God’s direct intervention, as well as by believers who lived in Christ as he lived in them. These faithful Christians prepared my heart to listen to the words of a knowledgeable Jesuit priest who answered all my questions and doubts with wisdom.

My spiritual experiences occurred in the family of God. I was caught by God, then taught by brothers and sisters, and swept right into the heart of his Church.

Melanie Jean Juneau is a Canadian mother of nine children who blogs at Joy of Nine9. Melanie is Editor in Chief of Catholic Stand, as well as being a columnist at Catholic Lane, Catholic Stand, Catholic ­365, and CAPC. She is the author of Echoes of the Divine and Oopsy Daisy, and coauthor of Love Rebel: Reclaiming Motherhood.