Friars Corner: Creating holy families in the New Year
Fr. Bob Hilz, TOR
Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14; Psalms 128:1-5; Colossians 3:12-21; Luke 2:41-52
I prayed that you and your family had a blessed Christmas. Remaining close to Jesus and faithful to the core teachings of our faith will bring us peace, joy and good direction for our life.
What we know Biblically about the family life of Jesus, Mary and Joseph are a few things about Jesus’ birth and this text about the family’s yearly journey to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. We have a sense that Jesus learned the carpenter trade from his foster-father.
The four evangelists presented Jesus in different ways. St. Matthew presented Jesus as the King to the Jews. St. Mark presented Jesus as a servant to the Romans. St. Luke presented Jesus for the Greeks and St. John presented Jesus for all people. Until Jesus began his public life, we know nothing else about his early life.
The divine power of the sacrament of marriage
As a priest of forty-eight years, I have ministered in several parishes, schools and states in our country. Family life is extremely important. Parents help God populate the earth. That work is critical and complicated. With the Sacrament of Marriage, God gives couples his divine power to do the work of building and caring for a family. As I go shopping, I see that couples are still getting together, having children, praise God, and some married.
I love to stop and thank parents for saying yes to human life in their unique children. Some smile and agree.
The first thing in a family is the relationship between the spouses. As they come out of the “high,” of their early years, they may become aware that they should become best friends and they have to create a life together from the differences of each other and their family of origin. They can become best friends thus creating a relationship that never existed before. About half of them cannot do that. Many cannot make concessions, compromise and work to plan their future life together. This can be a big problem. We help prepare a little before the marriage yet after the ceremony in most places we do nothing else to help their growth. I see this as a major problem that needs some solutions.
No parental instructions
When the children come along, that presents a whole new challenge. The wife is busy caring for a child or several children and the poor husband gets shoved aside and may begin to look for love in other women.
Each child is unique and different. At birth, the parents don’t get a set of instructions. Some things come naturally yet there is so much to learn and how fast the children pick up things and learn to talk etc., years before they go to school. Each child is unique, beautiful and precious. It takes time to analyze, appreciate and guide each God-given precious life that needs a lot of responsible care. Parents are the first educators of their children and the most important roots of faith come from the parent’s faith practice. What can provide some help in this process?
Pairing young couples with older couples with healthy marriages as mentors in a parish would be a great help. Yet the pastor needs to have that vision and put things into place to make that happen. Marriage needs to be a team effort, not a husband or wife dictatorship.
Marriage Encounter works
As a young priest in Corpus Christi parish in Willingboro, NJ, I learned a lot from the love Marriage Encounter couples showed me. Eventually, I made a weekend. It was very helpful for my learning. Now you take a personality inventory before the weekend to have a better understanding of yourself.
There are 16 talks given by three lead couples on certain marriage topics from their own experience. The couples listen to the lead couples sharing; then they separate to pray and evaluate their own situation. Then they come together to share and plan their response. This is a great growth tool especially for midlife and older couples.
We all go through life stages that require adjustment and re-adjustment as when the children grow up and leave home. Remember why you got married in the first place and work to keep your love alive. You will have to devise a new plan of life and probably rework that as you get older. That is a brief summary.
Pray for our country’s leaders
Trying to get a little pulse of what is happening in our country and the world can push us to go to God, begging help. Please pray for our president and congress. President H.W. Bush, whom we buried a few weeks ago, had wonderful gifts of friendship, cooperation and service for our country. That certainly is not the case now. There is a great divide, which doesn’t look good.
Please pray a least one Chaplet of Divine Mercy each day for Jesus’ help. You pray that on regular rosary beads with no meditation on the mysteries of Christ’s life. It only takes 6 minutes to say it.
Jesus invites you to come directly into his heart. We do that and beg for his Mercy. We can change a lot by these prayers. Thank you, in Jesus’ Name. God grant you continued Christmas blessings and a very safe and HAPPY NEW YEAR.
+ Fr. Bob Hilz
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(© 2018 Fr. Bob Hilz, TOR)
