Live simply so others can simply live

 

By Dolores Love

When our children were in grade school, a dear Daughter of Charity, Sister Mary Virginia Clarke, who helped get our own charismatic prayer group started, moved out to the Mexican border to work full time with Fr. Rick Thomas in full-time ministry to the poor in El Paso. She invited families to come and see the miracles God was performing among the poor.

My husband has always been an idealist wanting to improve the standard of living for others so that everyone will get their fair share of the goods God has bestowed on mankind. Joe had been serving the Hispanic poor in Dallas through the St. Vincent de Paul Society several times a week, so he easily identified with this ministry. There was a warm exchange of friendship between our two Catholic communities in El Paso and Dallas.

Every Christmas our family went to El Paso to join the prayer group in visiting the Juarez jail and orphanage to bring food and the Word of God. During summer vacations we took both adults and children (including our three) from the prayer group to El Paso to show them what miracles the Lord was performing for those who lived on the city dump.

Over a ten-year period, we gradually freed ourselves from having a television in our home and clinging to material possessions for security. Our growing desire was to break away from a consumer mentality and to see the hurting and suffering world through God’s eyes. We were very idealistic.  Fr. Thomas’s ministry to the poor in Mexico was the only ministry we considered. Sister Mary Virginia was recruiting families to come to join them and build a lay community of families that would all live under one roof, that is, work and eat and sleep together.

Family discernment

Because we considered our covenant commitment to our Christian community a serious bond, we prayed about the move for years. We spoke to the Catholic chaplain of this community as well as the other lay leaders. I believe it wasn’t so much a matter of if we would make the break but when. Joe was a leader and he presented a proposal to the other members of the leadership about two years before we made our final decision. Those we held in high esteem, priests and leaders in the church we relied on for discernment told us to wait and pray. We did that over a period of several years.

It was actually a family decision; the children had a lot of positive input. When our oldest child left home and was working and our daughter was in her last year of college, our younger son had two years of college behind him, we had a family retreat where we explored the change we would all have to make. The children accepted it as no surprise, perhaps a little relieved they were not asked to make it their lifestyle. They were excited for us! At that time they thought we were somewhat radical and far different from other parents they knew who sheltered and coddled their children. Our children, too, are idealistic because of the choices we made as they were growing up, and they were all ready to become independent and on their own. They seemed happy for us that we wanted to break away from the typical lifestyle of joining a group that was radical to serve the Lord.

Once the children gave us their blessing, our home sold quickly to a family we knew at church. We accept that as a sign. The sale of our home helped provide their tuition and used cars. We asked the children what possessions they were interested in and the rest we gave away (like appliances that wouldn’t store well). Actually, most of the furniture was put to use in Christian households that the children joined when they got their college degrees. God was gracious and kept me from being attached to any furniture, clothes, jewelry. My own parents, brothers and sisters looked upon our breakaway with some curiosity, viewing it more as a lark or adventure that we were entering as a middle-age crisis. They made it clear that they weren’t interested in helping us get reinstated if we failed. They were rather intrigued with the idea of our adventure — if they didn’t have to pick up any financial bills we were running up.

The Lord’s Ranch

Our arrival in El Paso in 1986 to join the other families was quite educational in that we were moved about periodically. They had a pattern of movement that couples or families would go through to prepare them for ministry. We went on a retreat for a week and then every month would move from the Jail Ministry to the Lord’s Ranch, to Our Lady’s Youth Center, and later to the Lord’s Orphanage which the boys named “God’s Garden.” That was in the desert in Mexico bordering New Mexico. The Lord worked miracles there transforming both boys and girls from the streets. It was long hours, hard work but rewarding. We even had a good academic school that was accredited.

Our first week was spent on a private retreat. After that, we worked at the Center familiarizing ourselves with their various weekly outreaches to the city jail in Juarez, Mexico, and the Lord’s Food Bank which was the central nervous system in the center of one of the poorest neighborhoods in Juarez. A typical Tuesday morning coming together for Mass on an outside pavilion attracted over 300 people. They would both dance and sing as they worshipped the Lord. Afterward, we would all be assigned a task. I always had the privilege of helping prepare lunch for the pregnant women and afterward hand out the free groceries they worked for about four hours each morning.

This lay ministry of married and single adults, about 45 in all, was similar to a seminary, headed up by Fr. Rick Thomas and Sr. Mary Virginia Clarke.  The Lord really did speak through these leaders and we felt that we were under obedience to them. We had daily communal prayer three times a day. I considered the needs of the other families very much like my own needs. We looked after each other. I learned a simple lifestyle, with three changes of clothes and a box for a suitcase.

I believe I used more of the talents the Lord gave me. I didn’t say no to the task when I was challenged. I broke the job down into segments and I found out I could handle it. I relied totally on the Lord for direction and he didn’t disappoint me.

Giving and receiving

We worked 10 to 12 hours a day doing manual work for the most part. I used my talents as a Montessori Pre-school teacher and set up a classroom for five of the children living there. Half a day in the classroom, and half-day making cheese or relieving the cook. We had a dairy farm, a vegetable garden and we grew our own grain for the animals, No television, no radio, no newspaper.

We received so much more than we sacrificed in material goods. Actually, we never considered what we were giving up; our focus was on serving the Lord through the poor. Among the 45 people living together, the subject never came up that we had sacrificed a lot to be there. No one seemed to count the cost. We were just eager to make a difference in the lives of the poor. Any material things we put aside seemed so trivial. Most of us had simplified our lives years before.

Looking back, I don’t recall being very uncomfortable from the desert heat all summer or the bitter cold all winter. The adobe homes were built to retain cold and solar heat. In the summer after 10 a.m. you stayed in your adobe home. The home we spent the most time in was half-buried in the ground to retain cold and heat. No one seemed to suffer; we gladly adjusted. The temperature was very dry, so it was quite healthy. There was never a surplus but always plenty of nutritional food. When your bed became uncomfortable, you prayed a double bed would be donated and it did. We studied somewhat about holistic medicine and used folk remedies such as raw garlic. Our meals were well balanced even though we rarely had meat, I didn’t miss it because I liked the beans and rice we had every day and a big vegetable salad from our garden. Our policy was to live simply so that others could simply live. We got our protein from beans and rice and raw milk and occasional homemade cheese. Peanut butter and honey was a popular snack and we made yogurt several times a week and baked our own whole wheat bread from hard winter wheat we ground ourselves. Meat was not on our diet but we didn’t miss it. Rarely would we have barbecue goat when they had slaughtered the males and kept the females for milking. Our first fruits from the land went to the poor families in Juarez—like all the fresh fruit we harvested. Grapes were the most plentiful, with peaches and apricots in season.

The day was long, the week was physical but there was such a freedom and a joy to be working alongside other women that we found a sweet balance to our day. Of course, we spent at least an hour a day in communal prayer. We celebrated Mass and had a prayer meeting twice a week where there was dancing and singing.

Stretched to the limit

Joe and I stretched ourselves to the limit in covering tasks that we didn’t realize we had the talent for. When I set up the Montessori classroom, I had to improvise on all the materials. A carpenter there made most of the educational tools we used under my directions using scraps of wood. I cried to the Lord more than once and I heard him say, “I am the creator of all things in heaven and on earth. You are made in my image. I will direct you. Do not claim you are not creative. I will be your source of inspiration.” After I heard the Lord clearly, I knew he was behind me. So even today I’m not afraid to tackle a difficult task if I know it would please the Lord.

I was more fulfilled as a person because I had more fellowship every day so I didn’t rely on Joe as a husband to fill all my needs. He too wasn’t as demanding as he had been in our own home. Joe and I learned that we had a lot in common about pursuing a simple lifestyle. We learned that living in a rural environment is much healthier than city life. It was a healthy lifestyle and we flourished and our marriage flourished.

Of course, I missed my children. We weren’t able to travel to see them, so at least twice a year they came to see us. I laughingly admit I never got used to being without a napkin when I was eating. That’s a luxury the poor can’t afford.

Miracles

God was my constant companion. Each day we trusted him more and more. We saw how much he loved the poor and provided for their needs. And taught them complete dependence and a spirit of hospitality and a willingness to share everything they had with each other. Miraculous healings were common – multiplication of food at the Lord’s Food Bank in Juarez, Mexico was common. “Miracles in El Paso,” by Renee Laurenteen, tells of a miraculous multiplication of a festive meal on Christmas day on the city dump in Juarez, Mexico.

If I had the chance to live that part of my life over, if I could turn the clock back and draw on that spiritual energy, I would do the same thing. But I wouldn’t allow my expectations to be a disappointment when our mission was over. I felt  I had worked so diligently to make a go of it that no circumstances could shake its solidarity. It took a year or so of adjustment for me to accept the dismissal in 1992 and we returned to Dallas.

Yet I believe the colorful experiences we were involved in for over six years aided us tremendously when we were asked to take over the responsibility of being House Parents for the TV School of Evangelism that included adult students from a variety of Third World countries. Flexibility was needed to cope with the many challenges that we faced keeping about 16 students fed and housed in small quarters for over a year’s schooling.

The Lord provides for us now in a similar fashion. We don’t have security as the world defines it. But our trust in the Lord has never been stronger. As soon as one door closed for us to serve the poor in El Paso, another door opened for us to serve students full time in Dallas, living with them on campus. Not an entirely different situation.

In El Paso, we learned humility–seeing ourselves as a small part of the whole of God’s perfect plan and the freedom and joy our daily lives that increased tremendously. I’d say that was the trademark of the Catholic community that is so rare today—a childlike trust in God that dispels any feelings of insecurity.

Copyright 2021 Delores Love

Read more testimonies in: